Anti-Vibrational Table

So because of the condemnation of the lovely building that I get to work in. (Well 1/3 of it anyways.) I will be forced to move my office a total of 3 times in the course of 3, possibly 4 months. Due to this atrocity, I've packed up a lot of my things, and have decided to keep them in a box where they may stay until I'm procrastinating enough to put them away or until I graduate and am left wondering why I saved my notes and crap in the first place.

Although, in and of itself, moving certainly sucks, trying to find where to put my CL microscope has been the more difficult endeavor. I have the option of moving it to the survey where it will be under lock and key and in a very nice room. Or I can move it to IGB next to a room with vibrational issues due to refrigeration units next door. Bruce is against moving it to the survey because it won't be under his control. He wants it close by and where he can supervise it. He then suggests getting an "anti-vibrational" table to remove the issue of the room moving around.

All I know is if I'm the one responsible for clearing out that room before getting the CL scope in there... I may throw a fit.

Harmony

So, I know that in January I tried online dating. I was excited, exuberant and ready to do something good for myself. I know that I was lonely and feeling down on myself. However, I think one of the reasons it didn't work for me was that I just wanted to be with someone to make myself feel better. I didn't "need" them per-say. I just wanted to feel good enough for someone to like me.

And in the process I met Kevin. Now, Kevin is an amazing person. He's kind, considerate and an overall good person. The only issue I had was that the spark wasn't there. I wasn't intrigued. There wasn't anything about him that I needed to find out more about. I think I let it go on a little too long, although it was only a month or two, so maybe 6 or 7 dates. I kept trying to find that spark, but it just wasn't there.

In theory, that spark is some natural chemistry that makes you irresistible to each other. And I can't but help wonder if it's the spark of the unknown or the unsure or the confused. But either way, I've spent the last 6 months working on me. I've began working out, trying to look on the positive side of life. I've cultivated my friendships in the department. I've maintained my friendships with Kayla and Amy. I also let go of Brett as a friend. I knew he is somewhat caustic and probably a horrible person to have in my life, but our friendship was addictive on a whole new level. I liked the support and the degradation that littered our somewhat bantered friendship. I knew he had my back and I also knew he didn't take me seriously. Basically, attached enough to find the time to make fun of me, and selfish enough to really not care that awful much.

Mixing Working Out and Pleasure

So I've been working out with this trainer Matt. Basically I need someone to kick my butt and there is nobody else around here to do it. So Matt and I work out twice a week. It keeps me honest and I can see improvement. I've also lost almost 2 inches off of my waist. I don't think I've really lost any weight (maybe 3-4 pounds max) but my muscle mass sure is on par. I can even fit into the bridesmaid dress from last summer. You know, the summer were I stressed out, freaked out, forgot to eat and slept all summer? Well good. Glad you remember.

Anyways, Matt is from a teeny tiny town in Illinois and likes hunting, working out, and is going to go to school to be a chiropractor. I.E. a doctor. He's gorgeous. He has piercing light blue eyes, as in glacier blue eyes. His smile is adorable. He has some freckles and sandy blond hair. I know... another Alex look alike eh? Oh my god. That's what he is. He's another Alex. Ugh. Dumb dumb. How could I be any stupider. How did I not realize that until just now.

Well I should just rename the title of this post right now. Well as long as I know this now, I can work it out in my head. I know what is OK and what isn't. That probably means he'd be a great friend, supportive and friendly. However, I can't help but think he'd be a little different than Alex. So how jaded am I? I went from... wow, he's funny, nice and smart to ugh...

I think Usher said it best in "You Remind Me."

See the thing about you that caught my eye
is the same thing that makes me change my mind
kinda hard to explain but I'll try

CHORUS:
Cos, you remind me of a girl
that I once knew
see her face whenever I , I look at you
couldnt believe all of the things she put me through
this is why i just cant get with you

Thought that she was the one for me
til i found out she was on her creep
oh she, was sexing everyone but me
this is why we could never be

Panic at the... yoga?

Well this story is almost a week old now, but I figured, better late than never. I was thinking of calling it closure, but that just isn't quite right.

So last Thursday I headed to Yoga and was actually quite early. I ended up getting there before the instructor (yogi?) Jenny, and started chatting it up with Jackie. Jackie happens to work for Bruce on Sci Flix, which is Bruce's version of getting science-y videos into middle schools. He films different research areas of his and talks about their importance. In theory it's a great idea. HOWEVER, Bruce would have to follow through in order to get anything accomplished.

Well enough about Bruce. I could probably complain about him forever. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So Jackie and I were talking and I asked her how she ended up working for Bruce. She mentioned that she went on the Campus Honors Program trip with Bruce and had Phil (Alex) and Carly as her T.A. I was dumb enough to ask her if she had found out that Carly and Phil are engaged now.
She got so excited and emphatically said, "I know! I saw the ring earlier this week! I'm so happy for them. They are perfect together. You should have seen them on Curacao. They were so perfect together. Too bad they weren't dating then. But isn't that great that they are together now."
In between trying not to hyperventillate, I said something along the lines of, "Yah. Isn't it great. Yah they do look great together."

And then I went into my head, (where it's safe, and they know me there) and tried not to have a panic attack right before Yoga class. Thank goodness I know how to take deep breaths all on my own!! I couldn't concentrate for the first 10 minutes of the class and it took me forever to get my breathing in line and concentrate on my poses. However, by the time class was over, I was feeling lighter, and if not happier that the encounter had happened, well at least I lived through it.

I can't wait to leave this campus and Phil and Carly FOREVER. Dear God. Please let them fall to the wayside so that I don't have to see them or talk with them or work with them after I graduate. That would be just swell.