Emotionally Stable?

I can't decide if the longer I am in science, the weirder the people are, or the more aware I am of them. Almost all of my friends are on some sort of drug to help them out... depression, ADD, ADHD, OCD, eating disorders. It's insane. I mean, I've come to realize that I probably have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. I was talking with Val today and realized that this trait is inherent in my personality and comes to a crux every time I am in high stress. Cleaning religiously, making schedules, lists, etc. Basically it's a way to control a situation. It's funny because low lying depression and super cleanliness are two of the 10 traits seen by these people. And those are the traits of mine that go crazy when I can't control any other part of my life. And now that I've sort of let obsessive cleanliness and organization go away for a little bit, I'm happier. I'm allowing myself to experience life at a less structured pace. And I think that's a good thing. I think I clean to maintain a semblance of order, which obviously is never going to work. The world is just a crazy jumble of disorder and life is contained chaos. I should just learn to thrive on that. I know I sound like I am rambling, but I actually feel a lot better about myself as time goes on. I'm slowly controlling my eating, which is DANG hard, but possibly possible. Baby steps. Baby steps for me are the way to go. Sudden action never really works out because I always want to jump back a little bit and re-test the water. Maybe that's what this year has been for me. A learning about myself, how to take care of myself and how to handle myself as an adult, capable of taking care of myself. Me me me! I think that's why me and relationships right now are so weird. I'm figuring out who I am and who fits in with me. And I should. I need to take the time to know me. Definitely before I try to be with someone else.