Well I'm not freaking out, and I'm not worried about anything in particular. I'm nervous. I'm that jittery nervous that comes with the unknown. It's the kind of nervous that sets your stomach to rumbling and your mind to thinking. I want to figure it out, and yet, part of the fun is just letting things happen as they will.
So I met a guy. Actually, I guess you could say I met a man. His name is Robert, and I'm still working on what I want to call him. Robert. Rob. Bob. Nah, Bob is yucky. I think I like Rob: the name and the man. He's cute in a boyishly charming way. He's honest. He is gentlemanly. He opens doors for me. He shares my view of the world. We are both really active. He loves how independent and focused I am. He understands me being busy. He offers me rides because he can.
He is making me believe again. He's this anomaly of a man. Chivalrous, kind, considerate, affectionate, intelligent, determined. We have the same need for our good ol' 8 hours of sleep, (which I won't be getting tonight by writing this). We both try to eat healthy. He's one of a kind. I'm afraid to keep getting to know him. There are really only two possible outcomes. Either (1) he's not the amazing man I believe him to be, which would leave me once again disappointed in the male persuasion all over again OR (2) he is the perfect man for me, and I'll only have 5 months with him. I know 5 months can feel like a lifetime, but there's almost no good that can come of this.
Except: maybe it will heal my broken, twisted, darkened heart. And is it even possible to put a price on 5 glorious months of looking forward to seeing Rob. 5 months of unwavering support of me. 5 months of smiles. 5 months of amazing kissing. 5 months of memories to last a lifetime. Will it be enough? Will it be too much? I guess only time will tell.
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