This story isn't really something I'm proud of. In fact, the shame surrounding it makes me hesitant to mention it. However, I honestly believe it changed something for me. And it is important. It's something I need to remember, forever. And sadly, something that I need to be conscientious of the rest of my life.

I've had irregular bleeding since as long as I can remember. On the pill, off the pill, it didn't matter. However, after sex, I always bled. As far back as Kirk, to be honest.

Usually going on the pill fixed the problem, or at least convinced me that it was just breakthrough bleeding. I was wrong.

I hadn't been on the pill since Alex and I broke up. For awhile my period was regular, but then I'd have weird bleeding, sometimes it felt like a period, and other time it didn't feel like anything. However, my saving grace is my imminent departure to India. My bleeding had become so irregular that I decided I HAD to do something about it. There was NO FRICKEN WAY I'd backpack through India having to question what random days I'd end up bleeding.

So in November I went to the gynocologist for my yearly check-up and told him about my issues. I had a Pap and was tested for STI's. All came back normal, so he put me on the pill (again).

Per usual, I bled through the entire first month. It was miserable! I called in, but was told to wait one more month. Finally the beginning of the third month, the doctor decided to do a colposcopy, which is a fancy way of saying an in-depth look at my cervix with a microscope. He found some abnormal cells and did a biopsy of the cells. I wasn't too worried until he called one morning, about a week later to inform me that the bioposy came back as CIN II, caused by HPV.

"HPV?!" I thought. I had a vaccine for that. I thought. It doesn't protect against every strain, and apparently I had somehow contracted it. I was distraught, upset and depressed.

It was suggested that I get a LEEP procedure or wait three months to see how the cells progressed. Most cases (80%) of CIN I goes away on it's own. There's no real data for CIN II, which is pretty scary. So I decided to research the LEEP procedure. They take a metal coil, electrify it, and then scrape a layer of the cervix away. Or I could wait? WTF? An invasive procedure or biding my time?

It was at this point that I finally told my mom and Suzanne. They both suggested I come back home for treatment. Considering the stress levels in my life and regarding the whole "HPV" thing, I readily agreed. I was basically beside myself with worry and whenever people asked me how I was, I made some stupid joke or ignored their queries.

The appointment at home was at the new hospital with a doctor I'd never seen. Her name was Autumn. Seriously? Autumn? I was waiting for Summer and Spring to show up right behind her. However, she was really nice, knowledgeable and spoke with the lead gynecologist. They both thought it extremely "freak-chance" that I came to find out about my condition in the way that I did. However, she recommended a different treatment: cryosurgery. Basically they take a tank of liquid nitrogen, hooked up to a hose of sorts with a metal post at the end. And then they turn on the liquid nitrogen for 60 seconds and hold the metal part to your cervix, while you attempt to avoid the awkward cramping that goes along with it.

I didn't have enough time for the ibuprofen to kick in before the procedure, so I went in unawares. And it wasn't too bad. It sucked. It hurt for about an hour... but more like cramps than anything else. My mom was awesome and supportive, but I had to wait for her to deal with some financial stuff from her thyroid surgery while in a great deal of pain. I wanted to yell at her, but it was all my own fault.

For the next three days, I "melted". My skin on my cervix had frozen, dehydrated and died. So I got to deal with the repercussions of that for a few days. It was so weird to feel "stuff" come out of my body, but have it not be substantial or even visible. It was just water.

So now, I get to wait. It's been a little over a week and a half, but I'm hopeful. I keep telling my body that it is healthy, whole and divinely intelligent. I guess I'll find out in April when I go in for my check-up. So for now, I'm praying, in my own way.

However the scariest part of this whole thing was realizing the other diseases associated with HPV. HIV. I was scared out of my wits. Getting my blood tested was one of the scariest things EVER. Waiting for the results was worse. Thankfully I got those back rather quickly. I'm good, healthy and HIV free. I'm lucky. This entire thing could have been worse.