The Story - Part 1

Not so long ago I was inflamed by a dream gone awry. I was consumed with a passion, no: an illusion; fervent and vivid. In the darkest hours of night the boundary between reality and mirage blended into an obscure shadow. The first light rays of dawn was my saving grace. Hot tea in hand watching a new day arrive, I would stare into the very heavens, hunted by my own construct.

I had never known dreams to be bad things. I had been encouraged since infancy to dream big and go after my goals. What exactly was wrong with this dream of mine? I couldn't have told you back then. It's taken me years to piece everything together, and it's still foggy. The one thing I can tell you, I met my illusion in August with the beginning of my sophomore year in full swing.

My illusion seemed to be carved out of David's very same marble. He was a full six foot five inch splice of man caught somewhere between adolescence and adulthood. Sandy blond hair and piercing glacier blue eyes drew all attention from his button nose and oval jawline. However the most striking feature by far was his smile. His toothy grin was earnest and friendly. It made me appreciated and uneasy all at once. His name was Alex.

I remember walking back to my dormitory thinking back through our rather limited conversation and reliving the highlights. After arriving, I called my friend Brett to find out if everyone was meeting up for dinner. Wednesday night went the same it usually did. A bunch of us met up for dinner, talked and ate too much and then spent the evening working on homework while watching crappy television shows in the background. The earth hadn't moved, the sky hadn't opened up nor had stars exploded across the night sky. I had no warning for what was to come.

The Cost! The Cost!

I had no idea weddings cost so dang much! Suzanne and Jeff are thinking of having 300+ people at theirs, and drama has ensued. I didn't realize weddings are such a huge expense... well I take that back. I didn't realize Jeff would want such a huge wedding. It's insanity. I feel bad for Suzanne. This is going to set her back anywhere between 25 and 35 THOUSAND dollars. That's 2 years of college. Mom is going crazy about it and wants to help her, but it's a lot to shell out. Good luck to her.

Deactivating Facebook

Well. It has been done. I have finally done something I've been threatening for months, maybe even years. I've taken down facebook in an effort to propel myself closer towards my masters. All that time I would usually waste, I can now do that here, or on my own research. Woot woot! I don't know if that'll actually help. But it's a possible option.

Other highlights of the day:

Had lunch with Kevin. I saw a new side of him today. After lunch we had to jump his car and then went to get a new battery. The battery he went to replace wasn't working well b/c it was basically backwards. So without losing his cool (at all) we went back to AutoZone to get a different version, which worked perfectly. Kevin claims there would have been some swearing if I hadn't been there, but he's quite respectful around me. Hmm, gives me something to think about.

I also went running with Borsy. His 4 miles of yesterday weren't completed due to some serious drinking. (Dumb, dumb Borsy) Anyways, he called me while I was debating eating a crap ton of food that I don't HONESTLY want to eat. But I was bored. Give a girl a break. Anyways, the 4 miles went off without a hitch. And then we went searching for food. Wendy's ended up winning out. Their apple pecan salad was delicious, as well as the chocolate frosty. Mmm. Thank got for cows, refigeration and the coco bean. :)

And now to get about an hour of work done prior to bed.

Nighty night.

Engagement!

So Suzanne got engaged today. I guess Jeff asked dad's permission or whatever and things are in the works. Woot woot!

That sentence looks so weird.

I wonder what it'll be like... that whole wedding thing. Who will be invited? Where will it take place? All good questions.

That's it. I'm tired and have a cold. I just thought this was mentionable.

New Year! Same Me?

Let's first look back at this past year. My resolutions were:

:) 1. Train diligently for my first half marathon.
:) (Barely) 2. Finish my first Half-Marathon in May.
:/ (Did until I quit) 3. Do ceramics at least 4 hours every week to improve skill and technique.
:/ (Did until I quit) 4. Furnish my apartment with my own ceramic dishes.
:) (That was vague) 5. Lose some fat and get into better shape.
:( (Forgot about this) 6. Work on mental exercises, visualization, positive thinking and reinforcement.
:) (Bad idea though) 7. Work harder and play harder.
:/ (Still working on it) 8. Have a healthy relationship with food.
9. Learn and practice self-control.
:( (Does passive aggressive count?) 10. Be more assertive when planning and talking with Bruce.
:( (Not my fault)11. Get my thesis plan hammered out and start collecting samples by June 1st.

So what did we learn here? The things I failed in were because 1. I didn't deem it worthy of my time, 2. I forgot, 3. It involved someone else.

So this year... I won't be vague. I will decide ahead of time if it's worthy of my time and I won't forget. Also.. I'm not going to make 11 of them.

1. Have a healthy relationship with food.
2. Lose 1 pound a week until I graduate. I'm starting out at 168. Therefore by Feb 5st: 163, March 5th: 159, April 9th: 155, April 30th: 152. It's feasible, a healthy amount and won't drive me completely insane. 16 pounds is a good goal for me.
3. Diligently train for the Himalayas and help Borsy with his half-marathon.
4. Work on positive thinking, visualization and alternative health. (Self-confidence, health, success, happiness, fulfillment, etc.)
5. When I get back from the Himalayas, maintain my body weight at 150 pounds (+/- 3)
6. Rock it out in Houston!

Hugs and Kisses!
Sam

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